Got a touch of the when / then?

I don’t know about you but sometimes I feel like I am completely living in the future. Lately I have found myself saying when I lose weight, then I’m going to be able to wear these clothes, when I lose weight, I will be able to go out more, when I am maintaining my weight, my life will be so much better!!

I am not as bad as I used to be in the when / then stakes but sometimes it still comes up as an issue for me. I have also found that this has almost without exception been an issue with all of my clients who have a challenge with their weight. However, this is not only a challenge that is significant to those of us who battle with their weight. Many of our fitter / thinner friends have this when / then attitude to many parts of their life – for example have you heard people saying:

· When I win Powerball, then my life will be great
· When I meet my soul mate, then my life will be complete
· When I fix how I look, then I will attract the partner of my dreams

So what is wrong with thinking about the future? Well nothing really unless you put your current life on hold until you get your when / then thing – that makes the present less than it can be!! However, I think that the biggest issue with the when / then thinking is that it can be hiding a deeper issue. When I was single and overweight, I used to think – when I’m thin, then I will attract the partner of my dreams. The problem with this was that despite the fact that I was a fun, interesting, successful person, I didn’t think that anyone would like me because I was overweight.

So, what do you think happened then? I lost weight and discovered that I still didn’t think that people would like me and that was when I realised that there were some underlying issues that cosmetic changes to the outside of me could not fix. Interestingly enough, I did meet the man of my dreams and he is wonderful and completely loving though one of the things that I have discovered is that I still have times where I think ‘Does he really like me?’ This has been a bit of an underlying challenge for me and one that I continue to peel back the layers on. For me, it is important to keep on digging in to the issues that I have so that I don’t fall back into the whole cycle of ‘when / then’ and then feeling discouraged about my present life and then turning to food for comfort. Now, the important thing for me is ‘what can I do to make my now great?’

Here are some questions for you:

· How do you when / then?
· What is the underlying issue?
· What can you do to make your present more fun, exciting, excellent?

Cheers,

Jodie
www.lapbandforthemind.com

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Shall I compare thee to a summers day?

Okay, I had an interesting experience at Bikram yoga yesterday and it really reminded me of life with the band. Bikram yoga is all about consistency and incremental changes. Each session, the heat is the same (43 degrees Celsius / 109 degrees farenheight), the moves are exactly the same, it is only you that is different – we all bring along what is happening in our lives to the sessions so sometimes the sessions are ‘easy’, sometimes they are more challenging.

One of the lessons of Bikram yoga is that you cannot compare your progress to someone else’s. No one else has had your life experiences, no one else has had the small or large injuries that you have had in your body, your flexibility is all your own. One of the most interesting (and frustrating) things about Bikram yoga is that sometimes I find that I have a great session – I am able to hold a pose for longer or I have been able to stretch further and then this is followed by a session that is so challenging, I feel like I am back at square one.

I had a really challenging session yesterday morning. I had been away and it was my first session in a week. I go with my sister who has never had a single issue with weight, in fact she is the skinny mini to end all skinny mini’s! I had one of those really, really challenging sessions. Even though I have lost a whisker under 30kg’s, I felt like I was back at the start of my journey. I couldn’t balance to save my life and I found myself comparing myself to my sister, I knew it was crazy but I just couldn’t seem to help myself.

I really started the negative self talk and before I knew it, I was almost in tears. After the session, I couldn’t help but keep thinking about it for hours. Why do we compare ourselves to others, there are always going to be people who are better at something than us and people that are worse than us so what does it matter? For me the comparing has been about finding validation. Yesterday when I discovered this, I started to give myself the validation that I needed. I celebrated the fact of nearly losing 30kg’s in 9 months, what a great achievement. I looked at my board of successes and felt a whole lot better!

So, what has this got to do with the band? Well of course I have SO many clients who compare their progress to others and at the end of the day, what does this matter except for what you have achieved for yourself? When you find yourself comparing yourself to others, think about what it is you are trying to get from the situation and then see if you can provide it for yourself!

As for me, I am off to yoga again tomorrow, no doubt to learn another lesson!!

Chat soon!

Jodie Flynn
www.lapbandforthemind.com