All good!

Things are all good at the moment! I finally went back to the clinic to get the band adjusted and thankfully it is much better now - I am able to eat salads and breakfasts again which are really important to me. Salads of course because I want to get the vegies into my diet and breakfast because I had not been able to eat it and then would feel sick and seedy for the rest of the day - booooo!!

I have to admit that this week has not been the best health wise but I have been soooooo busy at work and so exhausted when I got home that it was all I could do to have a few mouthfuls of food and then fall in to bed. I am still waiting for the second trimester burst of energy that is supposed to be coming my way but so far, no luck - it is not anywhere in sight!!

I am still having the weekly scans and at the moment all is really good, the baby is growing nicely and I am feeling pretty good apart from the fact that I have been mega tired and I have been getting bouts of dizziness lately - the OB has said it is because I have low blood pressure.

We have been having hot weather forever here in Melbourne and I have to say, I am sincerely over it!! Normally I love the hot weather but it has been really knocking me around! It is supposed to be Autumn now but it still feels like summer!

Tight Band...

Well, I have to admit it - the band is too bloody tight. I have felt this way for two weeks but it has been very up and down so I hadn't been too worried about it. Now it is consistently causing me a bit of grief so I am going to have to get something done about it. Also, the problem now is that I am getting pain when food is going down - this is a new thing, it hasn't happened to me before so I am keen to get it checked out. I am going to go in for an emergency appointment tomorrow.

I have been a bit worried that the baby and I are not getting enough nutrition with the band being so tight and I have thrown up a few times which has not just been pleasant as it has been not just food getting stuck but has turned into normal morning sickness throwing up - blech. I am hoping that it will all be better after tomorrow.

Had a pretty good weekend, though I am very, very tired now because I had a lot on. Got my tax done of Friday as well as having the first of the weekly ultrasounds which showed everything is going well. Saturday we went to country Victoria to visit my sister in law and her husband and then today (we had a public holiday in Melbourne) Jen came over to hang out. I know it doesn't sound like it was that busy but honestly, I am totally exhausted and not looking forward to work tomorrow, just because I am so tired - hopefully this week will go quick!!

I'm back and............I'm PREGNANT - whoo hoo!!

Is anybody out there still reading? I hope so!

Okay - first let me apologise for me lack of blogging over the past couple of months. As you can see by the title, I am pregnant - YAY and that is the reason I haven't been blogging - I wanted to get to a safer part of the pregnancy before I announced it to you all. I am now 13 weeks pregnant and we couldn't be happier about it. As many of you know, the main reason that I got the band in the first place was to help IVF. We have been trying for years and now to be pregnant, well, I just couldn't be happier.

So, some updates - what has been going on?

Firstly, the pregnancy is a high risk one because of the multitude of issues that I have. I am seeing a high risk OB and so far everything is going well. The first 12 weeks were tough with the morning sickness and I realised that I don't really know the difference between feeling nauseous and feeling hungry - certainly one of my previous issues, that's for sure! Thankfully the majority of the morning sickness has now passed though I am still pretty tired. Gosh there were some weekends where I didn't even go outside I was feeling so sick and exhausted! I am hoping that I will get some of that second trimester energy soon - our house needs some organising before the baby comes and that is for certain!

I have found that many of the feelings that I had before I had the Lap Band placed have come back. I started to document the growing stomach from 6 weeks onwards and my mind was in such a bad place sometimes that I felt that I was back to my heaviest weight and I would be very surprised to see my 'not too bad' figure in the photo's that the husband has been taking. I always thought I would be one to cope fine with putting on weight in pregnancy because I had lost and gained weight so many times before but I have had to handle some pretty serious panic attacks about my weight over the past couple of months. I feel I am getting better and better though.

Being pregnant with the band is interesting. My OB's first question when he knew that I had a Lap Band was 'have you had all of the fluid taken out?' - to which the answer is a resounding 'no'. Though I did tell him that I was able to eat well and I could always go back to get more taken out if I need to. I haven't in actual fact had any fluid taken out since before Thailand and have not had any put back in. It has been tighter some days that others but generally it is at a manageable level at the moment and I am certainly able to eat a variety of foods and get enough calories in for myself and the baby. The most important thing to me at the moment is the health of the baby and myself so I am concentrating on eating as healthily as possible. That doesn't mean that I haven't had some slip ups, I certainly have but I am trying not to beat myself up over it and now that the morning sickness is abating, to be more organised with healthier options. I am having a big cookup tomorrow to be organised so I have healthy snacks available and food in the freezer in case I can't be bothered cooking (or the smell is too revolting - I tell you, I have a bionic nose at the moment!!).

An interesting side effect of being pregnant and my changing shape is that I don't know how the hell to dress!!! All my life I have been a classic pear shape and I have become pretty adept at dressing to enhance my good points and skim over my not so great ones. Now that I am pregnant, my boobs have gone up two sizes, I have no waist and of course, my stomach is growing! Any pointers that any of you have to dress appropriately for the 'looking fat rather than pregnant' stage of pregnancy for pears shapes would be most appreciated!

Another interesting side effect of the pregnancy (which of course we all would expect) is that the hunger is back. I had so long without really feeling any hunger, to now get hungry again is a bit strange. Sometimes I still panic because I think 'oh crap I feel sick' and then I realise that I am just hungry but I do have to be careful not to get too hungry because I do actually feel quite sick if I do feel very hungry. It is an intesting time to look at hunger - previously, I have had a lot of trouble with hunger - I have feared it. After the band, there was still that fear though I always have the option that I can fix it by going to get a fill. Now I am working on dealing with my fear of hunger and one of the ways is to realise that it is a way of nurturing the baby.

Emotionally I am finding it quite tough. Tough because I am constantly worried which I suppose is normal after having so much trouble getting pregnant in the first place - that, however, does not make it any easier to take. I tell you, my emotional coping strategies have been put under some serious strain of late though I am happy to report that I am not emotionally eating anywhere near what I used to. I go to weekly ultrasound appointments (because of the high riskiness of the pregnancy) from this Friday onwards so that should be able to alleviate my fears on a weekly basis (I hope!).

Great to be back, gang - boy do I have some reading to catch up on!!

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year to you all!!! I hope that you have had some fun celebrating and made some resolutions! I haven't actually made any resolutions as yet - I have been a bit busy with getting back from Thailand and then celebrating Christmas and such! I am sorry to have been a bad blogger of late, that will certainly be high up on my resolutions (though I am not a fan of calling them that, I like to call them goals) to be a better blogger!

Firstly, let me talk about Thailand and let me say, I heart Thailand!! This was my third trip and it was an absolutely fabulous one again. My husband and I stayed in Bangkok for 8 days and mainly we shopped and ate and slept and swam and shopped again - there are some great bargains to be had, that's for sure! We had a great day trip to Kanchanaburi where we went on a boat trip down the river, rode an elephant, went on the hell fire pass on the death railway (Burma - Thailand railway that was built by POW's in the Second World War - many allied troops died in the building of the railway) had a yummy lunch and then went to have a look at the Bridge on the river Kwai. It was a wonderful day trip.

For the remainder of the holiday we stayed at a very luxurious resort in Hua Hin (3 hours drive South of Bangkok) and basically relaxed. Honestly, I can say that I have never been more relaxed after a holiday - I had so many massages and treatments that they pummelled all of the stress right out of me - I loved it!!

Eating wise - I had quite a bit of fluid taken out of the band before I left because the last thing I wanted was to get sick and the band close up - booooo! The good thing was I was able to eat things that I hadn't been able to eat for awhile - mmmmm, steak, lots of chicken, salads and even small amounts of bread. I hate to admit it but on our honeymoon, I put on around 5-6kg's on our 2 week trip to Thailand and I am unhappy to say that I did put on weight while we were away, it was around 1.5kg's which I consider pretty good - I lurve the band! I wasn't great with my food but since I have been back I have been eating alot more healthier which has made me feel alot better! I am back to see the wonderful Doctor Caroline on Thursday so I am sure an adjustment will be happening and I will be straight back on track!

So, a brand spanking New Year for us all - let's all wipe the slate clean with old behaviours and start off the New Year making some long lasting changes - good luck to all of us!

4 sleeps to Thailand!

Whoo hoo!! I am SOOOO excited about going to Thailand, it is going to be fantastic!! We are going to Bangkok for a week and then to Hua Hin on the coast. The main things that are on the agenda are: sleep, reading, spa treatments, eating, swimming and shopping - it is going to be a great holiday. The good thing is that we get back on Christmas eve.

I have been really busy with work lately which has helped pass the time though the last week felt like it took bloody forever. I am pretty organised, so much so that I have looked up the movies on the flights, the movies that are on at the multiplex near where we are staying in Bangkok, converted all of the prices of the spa treatments to AUD - gosh, I am really looking forward to it.

The husband and I have to go to my Mum and Dad's place tomorrow to put up a fence so the dog won't be able to get out when we go. Then I am going to do a big clean on the house and pack - I am very organised!!

Band-wise, it has been a bit up and down of late and I am going to have some taken out on Wednesday before we fly out that night. It has just tightened up again today, I think because of a bit of stress and sometimes that really drives be crazy about the band. Though, I still absolutely love it all the same - my weight has stayed the same the last few weeks which I am really happy about - I have never really had stable weight, well, not for a long time anyway.

I am also looking forward to Christmas this year. Last year was a bit of a disaster as I hadn't really gotten used to eating only a little bit of food so I really pushed limit - I am looking forward to a calmer Christmas this year!!

Some good things in life.....

I have been thinking about my trip to Perth and how different it was having the band. Firstly, I would not have gone if I was weighing at my heaviest, now way. There were too many people that I had not seen for a long time and going to the beach, I’m afraid not. This time, I went without thought – how nice is that? I wasn’t worried that people were going to be thinking ‘my god, she looks terrible’ – partly because I have lost weight but also because I am a lot more confident in my own skin and don’t particularly care what people are thinking about me these days.

Due to my blood clotting condition, I always wear the thrombosis socks on the plane. When we flew to Perth, I put them on once we were on the plane. We went on one of the cheapie airlines and you know how close together the seats are right? Well, I was able to put my socks on in my seat, no problem – 18 months ago – I would have had to have gone to the toilets to put them on, no way in hell would I be able to put them on in my seat!!

I also am notorious for putting mega amounts of weight on whilst away. On our honeymoon for two weeks in Thailand, I put on 5kg’s (11lbs) in two weeks – I mean, how is that even possible?!!?? Anyway, when I got back, I was a bit worried about my weight because I had had some fill out and had been able to eat a little more. Happily when I got home, I was the same weight – this was a huge relief and a massive success for me!!

Gosh I love the band!! 9 days to Thailand, people – I am SOOOOO excited!!

I'm Back!

Well, I am back from Perth and we had a wonderful time!! It was a pretty relaxing weekend just pottering around and going to the husband's cousin's birthday celebrations!

The weather was a little disappointing, quite chilly so we didn't get to have a swim until Sunday. The beaches in Perth though, my goodness, they are surely some of the most spectacular in the world - absolutely gorgeous!

The good news is that even though the flight tightened up the band a little, it wasn't too bad and I have been able to eat a bit but not too much. Despite my resolution not to weigh myself, I did this morning and it is all good, it has stayed the same - yay!

Now I have 15 days until we go to Thailand - I can't wait!! There is still alot to do and lots to get done at work but I am really, really excited for Thailand - whoo hoo!!

Perth bound!

Okay – I had an incident last week. As a result of some medications that I have been taking, I had to get an emergency appointment to see the wonderful fill doctor, Caroline! All of a sudden, I started to get toxic heartburn and I was unable to eat anything nor drink very much. We have been having a pretty big heat wave here over the past week or so with record temperatures for this time of year so the dehydration was horrifying!

I ended up having .4 taken out of the band and even then it took another 36 hours to be able to really eat anything other than liquids. I am still not able to eat a great deal but I have been able to have lots of liquids, thankfully because the heat has continued unabated all weekend.

I have to say, I get nervous getting fluid out of the band – it takes this kind of situation to realize just how much I rely and trust it which is a good thing – my resolution in the new year is going to get that level of trust and reliance on myself – then I would be unbeatable right?!!? I am very glad that I got the fluid removed though, it would have been a disaster if I hadn’t of with how hot it’s been over this weekend!

I have been ultra, ultra busy at work with a big project coming in to land over the next couple of weeks but the biggest news this week is that I am heading West people – heading over to Perth with the husband for his cousin’s 30th birthday. I am really looking forward to it because I have never been there before (apart from a 4 hour wait when I was on the way to Africa!). It will be nice to be right on the beach and have some serious relaxing – I can’t wait!!

Two weeks after that, we are off to Thailand and we don’t get back until Christmas eve – I am so excited for the Thailand trip, we had our honeymoon there and absolutely LOVE the place! I think I will have to get more fluid out for the trip – the last thing I want to happen is not to be able to eat there or to get something stuck – not the place for that!!

Anyway, will chat to you after Perth!!

Unsettling band changes!

I am happy to tell you that my weight finally dropped down, yay - I was very pleased I can tell you though due to personal circumstances, I am not going to weigh myself for the rest of the year and be happy with maintaining my current weight (which is only 7kg's away from my healthy weight range and a whisker away from 40kg / 88lbs). If circumstances permit - I will start back on the weight loss journey again in the new year. This is actually really exciting for me as I have never intentionally tried to maintain a weight, I have always been trying to lose weight. I am quite excited to see how the band works to maintain my weight!!

Speaking of the band, it has been a little changeable the last week. Firstly, I had felt that it had loosened off a whisker - which was good news for maintaning because it has been pretty tight. Then yesterday it tightened up like no tomorrow, tightened more than it has been for awhile which is a bit annoying. I am going to wait a day or so and hopefully it will loosen off, if not, I am off to get some fill taken out cos I am struggling right about now.

Sometimes the band annoys me and this is one of those times but I am just going to have to work with it - onwards and upwards as they say!!

Exercise galore!!

It’s funny when you think that you are not getting anywhere with your weight loss and then something comes along to make you realize that you have changed significantly. This can come in many forms, a friend who you haven’t seen for a while, a comment from someone at work, a look back in your journal or blog or a gym assessment. For me, I had felt like I had been toiling away for the past few months without very much reward. I definitely have felt that my clothes were looser – I am pretty much in a size 12 (pants, much smaller up top) now which is very encouraging but the scales felt like they had not been moving for months and months.

I had a gym assessment last week and I am not sure how long it had been since the previous one but I think it was around 4-5 months. I had lost 16kg’s and mega inches everywhere – 8cm’s off my waist was a memorable one. It was a great wake up call – it made me feel rewarded for the months of training that I have been putting in.

Still, the weight loss is coming pretty slowly now. I still have 8 kg’s (17lbs) to get to my healthy weight range and whilst I would love to get there quickly and start to maintain, for the most part I am quite happy for a slow weight loss as long as it keeps on going down. I still have days when I’m frustrated about it but for the most part, I go along pretty well.

Jen and I had our second tap class this week which was so much fun again. I am seriously unco and have trouble even getting the most basic steps but honestly, we laugh and have a good time and I tell you, that’s how I like my exercise!!

I am having a good exercise week this week – I feel like I am finally over the cold that has plagued me for the last month, so I am really getting in to it again – yay!! I went to the gym on Tuesday, did the tap class on Tuesday, did a boxing class with my husband last night (holy cow, that was tough!!) and went to the gym today. All in all, I am feeling really good.

We are going to Perth for a long weekend in November – I am looking forward to getting some sun and swimming in the beach and then we are off to Thailand in November and I will be having almost a month off work – am SO excited, I can’t WAIT!!

Tap on, my friends, tap on!!

Jen and I went tap dancing last night – gosh it was the most fun that I’ve had exercising in a long, long time!! It was an hour and a half and a pretty damn good workout, I can tell you!! There was a lot of looking at myself in the mirror which I have to say was easier than when I started Bikram yoga – at that point I was more than 20kg’s heavier than I am now but I still sometimes have to make sure that I am not being overly critical of how I look.

Most of the time there was no time for that as I had to concentrate to make sure that I got the steps. If you are looking for a fun form of exercise, this is it!! The instructor also let us know that tap dancing does wonders for cellulite – I can tell you that Jen and I will be there with bells on!!

I am back on the exercising band wagon again and feel like I need to add in some toning so I am adding a couple of Pump classes a week to my routine – especially in the lead up to my two upcoming trip to the beach (Perth in November and Thailand in December – whoo hoo!!).

I am going to try to give it a good push to get really toned and healthy by the time I go there – it should be a good challenge!!Jen and I went tap dancing last night – gosh it was the most fun that I’ve had exercising in a long, long time!! It was an hour and a half and a pretty damn good workout, I can tell you!! There was a lot of looking at myself in the mirror which I have to say was easier than when I started Bikram yoga – at that point I was more than 20kg’s heavier than I am now but I still sometimes have to make sure that I am not being overly critical of how I look.

Most of the time there was no time for that as I had to concentrate to make sure that I got the steps. If you are looking for a fun form of exercise, this is it!! The instructor also let us know that tap dancing does wonders for cellulite – I can tell you that Jen and I will be there with bells on!!

The only time previously that I had ever done any tap dancing was on a trip to New York when I was 22. I was staying at a backpacker place when me and a few international travellers discovered a tap-a-thon that was going to happen in front of Macy's in New York - they were hoping to get more than 5,000 people doing a tap dancing routine in the street - which they did. It is one of my most memorable travelling experiences - doing a tap routine in the middle of the street in front of Macy's with a straw top hat and a cane. They even had tickertape - it was one of the most fun days of my life!!!

I am back on the exercising band wagon again and feel like I need to add in some toning so I am adding a couple of Pump classes a week to my routine – especially in the lead up to my two upcoming trip to the beach (Perth in November and Thailand in December – whoo hoo!!).

I am going to try to give it a good push to get really toned and healthy by the time I go there – it should be a good challenge!!

10km Run done and dusted!!

Good news, people!! I am feeling way, way better, I have less than 10kg’s to go to my healthy weight range and I did the 10km run last Sunday!! I didn’t run the whole way, probably about 8km of the course which I was very happy with!! I lay in bed at 6am on Sunday morning for about 15mins debating with myself whether I would do the run or not because my preparation was terrible – basically no running in the 2 weeks up to the run – not good! It was a gorgeous morning though and I thought even if I walked it will be a good experience and it certainly was.

The Melbourne Marathon Run is pretty popular with thousands and thousands of participants in the four races. It is on a really scenic route through Melbourne and ends up with a lap of the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) which is quite fabulous. I was up on the big screen for ages as I ran my lap and boy did I feel good when I crossed the line!

I think I am going to do another 10km run in December to hopefully keep up the fitness, help the weight loss further and feel good about myself – there is a good one coming up – it is an all women one which is nice!

The band is still quite tight at the moment though it has eased off a little bit. I have still been eating good, low fat food so that is the mostly probable cause of the good weight loss that I have been having recently! The husband and I are off to Thailand in 54 days so I am hoping to lose a few more kilo’s by then!!

How funny is this – Jen and I start tap dancing next week! We thought we would do a bit of exercise that was a bit fun and this is what we came up with – I am so looking forward to it though I am sure I am going to be pretty uncoordinated!!

Work has been seriously, seriously busy so time is at a premium right now plus my home computer is broken – I am devastated!!

I am going to have to update my pics soon (hopefully once the computer is fixed!).

Catch you soon!

Jodie

So sick of being sick!

Gosh, it’s been awhile since I posted. Sorry gang, I have been sick with the flu and boy has it been a bad dose. I have been absolutely exhausted – barely able to get off the couch. The band has been a bit changeable during this period, some days quite loose and some days quite tight and today is one of the days that it is tight. I haven’t weighed myself in a good while either, I really should to see where things are at with me!

I have been making a lot bigger effort to eat much, much lower in fat and have been pretty successful – after all, I used to always eat that way, it was just that I had started to justify to myself ‘oh, I am eating so little, it’s okay to eat full fat items’. The high cholesterol has given me quite a scare so I have been eating everything low in fat and high in veggies and fruit. I have been doing a bit more cooking lately (when not sick) and I felt a lot better last night so I cooked low fat chicken quesadilla’s – I just love Mexican food so this was pretty delicious.

I feel a lot better in myself now that I am eating more low fat and my clothes are becoming more and more loose, which is fabulous!! I have to admit something that has never happened to me before – I feel great about how I look. I know I am not a super model or anything but I am not hell bent on changing anything which is really great. This is a real surprise because as I say, I have never really been this way before. I think that this is a lot because I have focused on this journey being about my health and not my looks. It is just so nice to look in the mirror and not cringe.

Anyway, need another lie down – am still struggling. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m going to go with my 10km run on Sunday, I think it is going to end up being a run / walk. That’s okay, I haven’t had ideal preparation being so sick. I will do the best I can!

Happy Bandiversary to Me!!!

Okay gang, sorry I have been away for awhile – it has been a whirlwind of a week and one in which I celebrated my Bandiversary – yay – happy Bandiversary to me!!

My stats:

Started Optifast: 3 September 2008
Date Banded: 17 September 2008 – weight lost in 2 weeks prior to surgery = 6.5 kg / 14 lbs
Bandiversary: 17 September 2009 – weight lost overall 36kg / 78lbs

I have lost 69% of my excess weight so fair and I have gone from size 22 pants to size 12. I still have 11.5kg / 25lbs to reach my goal.

Reasons that I had the band in the first place:

· Fitter, healthier, happier
· Give myself the best chance of conceiving a child
· Reduce risk factors
· Look good in clothes
· Gain in confidence

I thought I would deal up my top 10 ways that the band journey has changed my life – so here goes:

1. Healthier and fitter – yay! This is definitely the case. I had my blood pressure checked recent ly and it was actually quite low and I found all of my tests bar one are in the normal range – this is excellent considering that I was pretty low in vitamin D before the surgery (I did make an effort to sit in the sun for 10mins a day though which obviously helped). I am going to be running the 10km run in a couple of weeks so am definitely fitter. The one test that I do need to address is that my cholesterol has risen so I need to ensure that I cut out all of the saturated fats and high fat dairy (I must admit some full fat cheese and yoghurt had crept in to my diet – no more, she cried!!). In addition, I have had bulging discs in my back and normally I would be at the osteopath around once a month to keep it flexible and normally every couple of months I would have a bad episode with my back – in the last 6 months I have been to the osteopath once and that was not even for my lower back – whoo hoo!!

2. More confidence – Before the band, I was in a real down on myself period. I didn’t want to see any of my friends because I was ashamed of my size and I barely had any clothes that fit me anymore. Now, I still don’t have that many clothes (mainly because they are all too big) but I definitely feel a lot more confident in myself – I don’t reject invitations to go out straight away and I certainly like getting dressed up again. It has been nice all of the comments that I have received from people as well – lately I have gotten all sorts of raving about how good I look and you have to love that!
3. Happier – Before the band, I would say I was pretty depressed and isolated. I was quite exasperated with myself that I had had to turn to the band to turn my life around. My self esteem was quite low. Even though it has been a tough year (not Band related) I feel that I am a lot happier with myself. Through the work that Jen and I have done, I feel like I can handle situations better (especially related to behaviours like comfort eating etc) and in general, I am very pleased with myself. The best thing that I feel now is that I am now more of a ‘glass is half full’ kind of a person.

4. More energy – Gosh, when I weighed my heaviest, I barely had enough energy to get out of bed. I was not exercising and at work I would go up and down the stairs a couple of times a day and would be breathing SO hard I would go to meetings 10mins before so that I wouldn’t be heaving for breath and embarrassed when I got there. I actually had a meeting upstairs at work today and I noticed that when I got to the meeting (1 min before it started!!) – I was barely breathing above my normal resting breathe – huzzah. Now, I confess, sometimes I am still tired and have a hard time getting out of bed but that is usually from the hectic pace of my life and not the heaviness of my body!

5. Greater choice of clothes – can I get an ‘amen’ on this one! Seriously, I was only able to buy clothes from the ‘Big is Beautiful’ type shops which was hugely depressing. I have always hated shopping but never moreso than when I have to go to those shops – it is very hard to come out looking like ‘the Devil Wears Prada’ out of there – I was more like ‘Frumps R Us’. Now I am wearing jeans and little tops and having great fun with accessories and all sorts – it has been SO much more fun!

6. Have become a foodie – interestingly, now that I am able to eat less, I have become really interested in cooking and making really nice, high quality food. This one has been a real surprise for me because basically before, I alternated between eating very strictly (on some sort of diet) and eating crap junk food. I had quite a few food hang ups from spending so much time on and off diets and thankfully, Jen and I have really done a great deal of work to move past these hang ups so that they don’t run our lives any more. I still have quite a ways to go but I’m getting there, people!!

7. Fit in everywhere better – this is a funny one but really important to me. I have mentioned before that one of the ways that I measure success is by how I fit in the bath – before the band journey, my thighs would touch (and squeeze against, mind you) both sides of the bath, now I have a fist and a bit of room in there! I fit in seats better at sporting venues, movie theatres, restaurants etc. I am not dreading my flight to Thailand later in the year because I know I will fit in the seat. These kind of things creep up on you over the journey but looking at 12 months ago – boy do I fit in places better!!

8. Take care of myself more – for me, a big part of this journey has been to change my self esteem. Eating junk food in huge quantities was a form of self punishment for me – as was dieting. The last 12 months have really been about learning how to take care of myself. Making sure that I am getting enough nutrition. Exercising as a gift to myself (rather than a punishment). Cooking interesting and yummy food to eat.

9. Celebrate my successes – I have been very guilty of the past of setting a goal, getting there and then not even celebrating my success (it is really linked in with the self punishment behavior as mentioned above). Thankfully, I have moved past that and have had a really nice 12 months of gifts to myself, massages and treatments to celebrate all of the success that I have had – gosh, I tell you – it has been nice (no wonder I am happier!).

10. I look and feel fabulous! As an overall, one of the things that I realized over the last month to 6 weeks is that I feel great and I can look in the mirror and say ‘you look good’! This is a really nice place to be!!

The past 12 months feel like they have gone in the blink of an eye. I am really proud of my efforts and am thankful that I made the decision to get the band!!

Countdown to Bandiversary!!

Okay people, it is two days since my 60min run, I need to get back into it tomorrow! I was actually really tired yesterday and today but one of the biggest problems for me is that I am a morning person and I prefer to do my exercise in the morning – if I don’t, I try to talk myself out of my session all day. So – tomorrow, my goal is to go running in the morning before work – that will set me up for the day and then I won’t have to worry about going in the arvo.

Okay, I need to talk. There is a problem going on with me at the moment and it is one that has plagued me for a good long time. One of the great things that I like about the band is that it restricts my eating and that, for the most part, has helped me to lose weight. Sometimes though, I hit a plateau – I am sure most of you can relate. The plateau’s drive me crazy. As soon as the scale stops going down, I start to panic and I revert back to my old self thinking ‘I have to cut out sugar, wheat, flour, dairy and only eat chicken, fish and vegies’ and then I try it for half a day and swing back the other way thinking ‘okay, I got the band for a reason, it doesn’t matter if it takes awhile as long as the weight is going down’.

Over the journey, I have found this pattern getting less and less though it has still been hanging on. I had a chat to Jen about this today and we agreed that we need to realise that we can’t break 20 years of undesirable eating patterns in 12 months, it is a journey and sometimes things can take time.

You know – it is only 2 days until my Bandiversary, I was hoping to have lost a bit more weight but 36kg’s in a year is pretty damn good – I am very happy!!

Chat soon!

Jodie

Motivated a-go-go!!

I’m back, people – back in town!! Yeah, I finished off the weekend very, very strongly. I went to the gym on Saturday and did 50mins of intense cardio plus today I did a 60min run – whoo hoo, I am back on track for the 10km Melbourne Marathon fun run!! So after a very sluggish start to the week I ended with 3 sessions. Not great but not crap either – I am happy that I at least pulled out of this low motivation state and got myself moving again.

Eating wise, the weekends are generally my time of treats and this weekend has been no different so I am going to have to reign myself in to some very healthy eating over the next few days. I am definitely in need of a fill as I am still getting hungry when I wasn’t hungry before and am able to eat more.

Goals for the week:

Running Session 1 – 30 mins steady jog
Running Session 2 – 30 mins intervals (or hills)
Running session 3 – 70 mins long run
2 x Weights sessions
Post on blog at least 5 times in the week
Take my 12 month Bandiversary photo’s and post

It feels good to be motivated again, it makes a lot of difference and certainly I feel happier!!

Here’s to a great week everyone!

Good news people!!

We have a gym workout done, people - one down this week!!! Hurray - I tell you, I was getting a bit concerned about my form, happily - I am back in town!! I only did 20 mins of running though I did an extra 10mins of walking plus 10mins on the stepper. I can't say it was a great session, it most definitely wasn't but I got through it, thankfully and I am going to go back tomorrow and hopefully give it a better go!! The bad news is my back is pretty sore now. I have had lower back problems since I was 16 so I am no stranger to it. For me, I need to keep moving so even if I do a low impact cardio tomorrow (stepper, cross trainer, bike) it will be better than doing nothing.

So, what else is going on. Well, my husband and I are just about to book a trip to Thailand in December which is fantastic. We went there for our honeymoon a couple of years ago so it will be wonderful to be back there!

Band wise, it is very loose, I definitely need a fill - I am hungry when usually I am never hungry (in the mornings) so that is not good. Oh and I received my shipment of chewable vitamins from www.bandbuddies.com.au yesterday and I am in heaven, I am SO glad I don't have to have those horrible horse mulitvitamin pills that keep on getting stuck - seriously, I have great fear of those multi-vitamins now. I got a 3 pack of the chewable orange flavoured and they taste kind of like a grainy Berocca. The taste does not bother me at all because I actually like the taste of Berocca (I know, honestly, there is no accounting for taste!!). The grainyness is kind of like Mylanta. I am so, so happy to have found these multi-vitamins, I was getting worried because my hair had thinned out quite a bit (I usually have very, very thick hair) and my nails have been breaking. I am really focussed on getting enough fruit and veg into my diet as I don't think I was getting nearly enough.

Anyway, I am a lot more chipper today - had a nice sleep in and then got my arse to the gym so that is a good day! Will check in tomorrow!

Not good news.....

Okay, people we are at critical mass here – the malaise has not lifted and I did not get to the gym or have a running session despite my good intentions. I want to at least have 3 running sessions before Sunday – so I will need to do tonight, Friday and Sunday which is my long run – I will be aiming for 60mins. My eating continues to be pretty good – I have not weighed myself for awhile so I am not really sure of what is happening there. The band is getting looser every day though it seems as I am getting hungrier and hungrier – I am sticking to very textured foods to ensure that I am as full as possible.

I must get to the gym tonight. I must get to the gym tonight!!

I will update you tomorrow!!

Has anyone seen my motivation?

I have a confession to make, my friends. Last week, I did only one 30min run – ONE and this week so far I have been running zero times – ZERO – what the hell is going on here!! I also just received an update from the fun run people that I am doing in October and they have let me know that the run is just over a month away – what the, how did this sneak up on my so quickly, where is time going!?!?

I have seemed to have fallen in to a form slump- I am not sure what is behind it. I have every reason in the world to be motivated but I am in a fug, a malaise an indefinable apathy – what the hell is going on? I should be panicked that the 10km is just over a month away. I should be outraged that my weight loss has reached a plateau but I am nothing, really just nothing.

I really shouldn’t have said that I am not sure what is behind this malaise as I suspect that my dip in motivation has something to do with an old pattern of mine. This pattern consists of me being very, very motivated and pushing toward a goal then when I get close, I ease my foot off the pedal believing that ‘I have done enough’ and then never actually reaching this goal. A weight loss example of this is that I lost a heap of weight in the lead up to my wedding, I got to within 600grams (1 pound) of my healthy weight range and then totally lost the plot and I haven’t been within 20kg’s (44 lbs) of it since – though now I have only 14kg’s to get to my healthy weight range – so it is time for me to dig in and get past this pattern.

I need to get my passion and motivation back and of course I know what I need to do and that is to take some action!! So my first action was to write this post as an act of ‘owning up and taking responsibility’ – secondly, I am going to go to the gym or for at least a 30min run today – regardless of the time, I just have to do it – it will definitely help me to feel back on track. Thirdly, I am going to commit to posting every day for the next two weeks to push myself out of this malaise and get the hell off this plateau. I need to push through, people!!

Band wise – I went to see the wonderful Doctor Caroline last week and had .1 put back in because it had really eased off. Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem like it’s enough and I have to wait until next Thursday to go back and get some more fill, so discipline is the key this week. I have to admit that I have been eating quite healthily and not snacking as much during the week which makes me thankful for small mercies!

Anyway – I will check in tomorrow and let you know how I am going!

Cheers,

Jodie

It's my Optifastaversary!!!

Okay people, it is my 12 month anniversary from starting Optifast – how quickly does a year go, my goodness!! So, this post is a small look at the past 12 months – I will do a full retrospective when I have my Bandiversary in 2 weeks!!

It has been an amazing 12 months for me. This time 12 months ago, I was struggling and I mean, literally struggling through my first day of Optifast. I was full of optimism though – I wrote in my diary ‘this is the first day of the rest of my life’ and truly, it has been. I got half way to work on that first day and realised that I didn’t even have the Optifast products with me, I had to turn back and go get them and of course was late – der!! I used the two weeks of Optifast to ready my mind, house and complete environment – it was a really important two weeks for me (and for Jen . I did not cheat on the Optifast period at all, not once – I am still proud of that achievement.

So what is different for me from 12 months ago – I am going to do my top 5:

I feel SO much better about myself, it is a great feeling not to loathe what I see in the mirror or feel disgusted with myself after I have eaten so much people wouldn’t even believe it. Now I am confident and happy – it’s a nice place to be!
I am healthier. I had an appointment with my haematologist today (I have a blood clotting disorder) and he told me that my blood pressure was excellent, even a little on the low side.
I am fitter – indeed, as any of you regular readers know, I am training for a 10km run that I will do in October and after my 50mins session of running last Sunday, I am confident of being able to run the whole way!!
I look great! I am wearing size 12-14 pants – a great achievement for this pear shaped girl whose size 22 pants had gotten tight. I am taking more care with my appearance, I make those little efforts that when I was feeling bad about myself – though many of you know
I am nearly normal!! I can go into ‘normal’ shops to buy clothes. I don’t feel like people are looking at me when I am eating or not being able to fit my bum into seats. I still have weight to lose but I am quite calm and relaxed and trust that the band will help me to achieve my goals.

It has been a great 12 months!

In other news, Jen and I went to a seminar with Helen Bauzon the nutritionist. Honestly, it was a brilliant seminar that I wished I had attended 12 months ago – she is fabulous. You know, she also has online support groups and weight loss competitions all very reasonably priced – check out her website at: http://www.helenbauzon.com.au/. I realised from the seminar that I had become afraid of some foods, with Helen’s help I am wiping the slate clean and trying foods again – it has been brilliant!!

Helen (as well as Caroline – the wonderful fill doctor) also let me know about www.bandbuddies.com.au – these are chewable vitamins and I tell you as soon as I heard about them, I was on the site ordering them because I had an incident a while ago with a multi vitamin getting stuck in the band – I have been mortally afraid of the multi vitamins since then. I haven’t received them as yet but I will keep you up to date on what they are like.

That brings me to my previous challenge – to have the vegetable powders from AIM. You know what? They weren’t that bad. The Barleylife was like one of those wheatgrass shots that you get from a juice place and the carrots and beets tasted exactly like carrots and beets so not horrible. I am definitely continuing on with those as I am quite concerned about getting enough nutrition.

Well that’s about it for the moment – I am off to the gym for a run (sprint intervals, not my favourite) on the tready and then am having gnocchi for dinner.

Will check in soon!!

Cheers,

Jodie
www.lapbandforthemind.com

P.S. Have you checked out my BFF Jen’s blog – here is the link: http://mindthebandjen.blogspot.com/