Got a touch of the when / then?

I don’t know about you but sometimes I feel like I am completely living in the future. Lately I have found myself saying when I lose weight, then I’m going to be able to wear these clothes, when I lose weight, I will be able to go out more, when I am maintaining my weight, my life will be so much better!!

I am not as bad as I used to be in the when / then stakes but sometimes it still comes up as an issue for me. I have also found that this has almost without exception been an issue with all of my clients who have a challenge with their weight. However, this is not only a challenge that is significant to those of us who battle with their weight. Many of our fitter / thinner friends have this when / then attitude to many parts of their life – for example have you heard people saying:

· When I win Powerball, then my life will be great
· When I meet my soul mate, then my life will be complete
· When I fix how I look, then I will attract the partner of my dreams

So what is wrong with thinking about the future? Well nothing really unless you put your current life on hold until you get your when / then thing – that makes the present less than it can be!! However, I think that the biggest issue with the when / then thinking is that it can be hiding a deeper issue. When I was single and overweight, I used to think – when I’m thin, then I will attract the partner of my dreams. The problem with this was that despite the fact that I was a fun, interesting, successful person, I didn’t think that anyone would like me because I was overweight.

So, what do you think happened then? I lost weight and discovered that I still didn’t think that people would like me and that was when I realised that there were some underlying issues that cosmetic changes to the outside of me could not fix. Interestingly enough, I did meet the man of my dreams and he is wonderful and completely loving though one of the things that I have discovered is that I still have times where I think ‘Does he really like me?’ This has been a bit of an underlying challenge for me and one that I continue to peel back the layers on. For me, it is important to keep on digging in to the issues that I have so that I don’t fall back into the whole cycle of ‘when / then’ and then feeling discouraged about my present life and then turning to food for comfort. Now, the important thing for me is ‘what can I do to make my now great?’

Here are some questions for you:

· How do you when / then?
· What is the underlying issue?
· What can you do to make your present more fun, exciting, excellent?

Cheers,

Jodie
www.lapbandforthemind.com

P.S. Jen and I released our new product this week: The 5 Keys to Pre-Surgery Success. We have opened up an offer to our newsletter subscribers. If you sign up for our newsletter, we will give you the pack (plus all bonuses!) for the one time only price of $29.95 AUD – that is a saving of $100!!!

This price will expire on 15 July so get in quick!!

Sign up to our newsletter at www.lapbandforthemind.com!!

P.P.S. Remember this special offer of $29.95 expires 15 July so get in quick to gain instant access!

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Shall I compare thee to a summers day?

Okay, I had an interesting experience at Bikram yoga yesterday and it really reminded me of life with the band. Bikram yoga is all about consistency and incremental changes. Each session, the heat is the same (43 degrees Celsius / 109 degrees farenheight), the moves are exactly the same, it is only you that is different – we all bring along what is happening in our lives to the sessions so sometimes the sessions are ‘easy’, sometimes they are more challenging.

One of the lessons of Bikram yoga is that you cannot compare your progress to someone else’s. No one else has had your life experiences, no one else has had the small or large injuries that you have had in your body, your flexibility is all your own. One of the most interesting (and frustrating) things about Bikram yoga is that sometimes I find that I have a great session – I am able to hold a pose for longer or I have been able to stretch further and then this is followed by a session that is so challenging, I feel like I am back at square one.

I had a really challenging session yesterday morning. I had been away and it was my first session in a week. I go with my sister who has never had a single issue with weight, in fact she is the skinny mini to end all skinny mini’s! I had one of those really, really challenging sessions. Even though I have lost a whisker under 30kg’s, I felt like I was back at the start of my journey. I couldn’t balance to save my life and I found myself comparing myself to my sister, I knew it was crazy but I just couldn’t seem to help myself.

I really started the negative self talk and before I knew it, I was almost in tears. After the session, I couldn’t help but keep thinking about it for hours. Why do we compare ourselves to others, there are always going to be people who are better at something than us and people that are worse than us so what does it matter? For me the comparing has been about finding validation. Yesterday when I discovered this, I started to give myself the validation that I needed. I celebrated the fact of nearly losing 30kg’s in 9 months, what a great achievement. I looked at my board of successes and felt a whole lot better!

So, what has this got to do with the band? Well of course I have SO many clients who compare their progress to others and at the end of the day, what does this matter except for what you have achieved for yourself? When you find yourself comparing yourself to others, think about what it is you are trying to get from the situation and then see if you can provide it for yourself!

As for me, I am off to yoga again tomorrow, no doubt to learn another lesson!!

Chat soon!

Jodie Flynn
www.lapbandforthemind.com

Why would I delay a fill?!!?

I thought that this week I would talk about a situation that happened to me recently. I went through a period of not losing as much weight as I would like and an interesting self sabotage that came up was that I avoided going back to the surgery to get a fill!!

I finally went back last Friday and since then, I have lost 3kg’s – now this is a little unusual and mostly because I was retaining a good deal of fluid and keep in mind that it was not the only reason for the weight loss – the other reason being that I am having a weight loss ‘push’ at the moment, so have been focussing on a pretty rigorous exercise routine. It did lead me to examine why I would have waited (probably 2 weeks more than I should) rather than get my bottom down to the clinic asap to get the fill corrected.

So, I have had a good long think about it this week, especially considering that Jen and I had always reiterated to each other, right from the beginning, that it was really important to get a fill even if there is a little bit of shame because of the small amount of weight loss or even if we have put on – we really believe in the ‘partnership’ with the clinic and that keeping in touch with them more than necessary is way better than not being in touch enough. So I was confused about the delay!

Searching inside of myself, I found the following reasons:

· I was enjoying eating more
· I was using the food as a comfort item rather than as fuel
· I was able to eat some of the foods I hadn’t been able to for awhile

This led to quite a discussion with myself as I don’t really want to hold myself hostage in this way in the future and I thought I had addressed these issues completely and was a little surprised to see them come up again.

After a lot of soul searching, I put together a plan of attack which is really to be more consistently aware of my patterns – go back to basics and become aware again. The first step to change a behaviour is to bring it to constant awareness, the second step is to start to choose a different behaviour, the third step is to practice, practice, practice the new behaviour and I tell you, this is what I’m going to do!!!

Have a sensational week everyone!

Cheers,

Jodie

Taking care of yourself!!

One of the common areas that I have found coaching clients that either are or have been obese, is that we are very hesitant to take care of our own needs. We will happily take care of others and will certainly advise others to take care of themselves but when it comes to our own needs we are more likely to give ourselves a lecture on how lazy and no-good we are.

Jen and I experienced this powerfully last week as we both came face to face with a massive brick wall and felt like we couldn’t go on. The nicest part of working with a friend that I have known for 30 years is that I know that she will treat me way better than I treat myself (though I am a work in progress and am definitely getting better at treating myself nicer). We able to give each other permission to take some time out to take care of ourselves – and in case you didn’t notice, we did!!

So what drives this behaviour to be nicer to others than we are to ourselves? Well, for me, it was always about not feeling good enough - basically never living up to my own or others expectations. I have come a long way and have practised a lot but sometimes it still rears its ugly head in my life. For example, this week I didn’t go to the gym on Wednesday because I was sick on Tuesday night but I caught myself asking people if it was okay to do this – as if they would know better than I would how I felt?!?? I ended up not going and being very proud of the fact that I chose to be nice to myself rather than punish myself with exercise as I have done many times in the past.

The very best way that I have found to change this way of treating myself is via a tip that I saw on Oprah (oh yes, I love Oprah!!). The tip was to treat yourself in the way that you would treat your child, best friend, niece, nephew – basically anyone that you love unconditionally. This has been excellent for me though it is always a trick to catch myself when I am doing it and turn it around.

On a personal note, I am back at Bikram yoga which I am just loving!! I am also off for a fill tomorrow, definitely have been able to eat more lately which is no good!!

Until next time!!!

Cheers,

Jodie Flynn
www.lapbandforthemind.com

It's your journey

Jen and I had an interesting conversation this week about taking responsibility for your own journey and I have been thinking about it ever since. As we all know, the band is only a tool to help us on our weight loss journey, we have to work with it for it to work. Of course, one of our basic philosophies at Lap Band for the Mind is that you need to change your behaviours to have success and taking responsibility for your own journey is a huge part of that.

So what does this mean ‘taking responsibility for your journey’? Well it is all about understanding that you know your body better than anyone else better than the doctors, nurses etc that you see along the way and questioning things if they don’t seem quite right. I am constantly asking myself – do I have enough fill in the band, do I have too much, am I eating more than usual or less? Sometimes, we all fall into the trap that someone else knows better. I know that I went for a fill one time and they put in .5 when I was thinking that .2 would be probably the amount that would be best though I didn’t speak up and – you guessed it – I was overfilled. No one likes that feeling I’m sure and I experienced quite a bit of panic at not even being able to drink water but I was able to get in to see a fill doctor pretty quickly to get the situation rectified. I really could have seen this as a negative experience but instead, I saw this as a positive situation as I now knew what my maximum limit is.

This incident has really served as a reminder to me that:

a) speak up if you don’t agree with what the nurse or doctor says
b) Knowledge is power – if you don’t understand something, always ask
c) Doctors see many people every day, it is up to me to remember the details of my own situation

This taking responsibility for your own journey really does make a difference to your success with the band. Sometimes I expect to lose weight with the band even though I am eating unhealthy food items and I have to pull myself back and say ‘What foods do I need to eat to lose weight?’ – or even ‘are my expectations realistic’. It is all about the questions that we ask ourselves after all.

Hope you are all going well and remember – it’s your journey and you’ll succeed if you want to!

Till next time.

Cheers,

Jodie

When things don't turn out quite as planned.....

So what happens when you intend to be moderate and to make healthy choices and it doesn’t quite work out that way? The reason that I am asking that question is that this is what happened to me over Easter. As you know, from my last post I was heading on up to country Victoria to watch the Stawell gift and it was all in my plan to eat my Easter treats in moderation. This is not exactly what happened unfortunately.

Some of my old patterns kicked in, especially my ‘whoo hoo I’m on holidays and can eat anything I want’ patterns!! I was quite disappointed that over the weekend I overindulged in the Easter treats and chose things that I wouldn’t normally. So on reflection, I have realised that:

a) I needed to put a bit more preparation into how I was going to handle the eating up there – especially because we stay in a Motel and there are few options except to eat out
b) I needed to be more prepared in terms of my packing and organising (I did it at the last minute, mainly due to work as well rushing off in the morning)
c) I needed to examine my ‘going away on holidays’ patterns before I left
d) I needed to let it go once it was over and done with

The last point is an important one and one that I hadn’t realised that I was still holding on to the anger at myself until I had one of my regular chats with Jen. I had spent the whole of last week holding on to this anger at myself and what happens when I am angry at myself, well, I turn to food for comfort.

So what happens when you intend to be moderate and make healthy choices and it doesn’t quite work out this way?

a) Firstly, reflect on what happened and where the snafu’s where?
b) Identify a plan for the future
c) Move on for crying out loud!!

Okay – so that’s it from me this week – I have forgiven myself now and am moving on as we speak!

Check you next time!!

Cheers,

Jodie
http://www.lapbandforthemind.com/

Happy Easter!

Okay so anyone who has a Lap Band knows that chocolate goes through the Band pretty easily, this is good but can also be challenging! Good because of the endorphin inducing sweetness, challenging to moderate the quantity that slips through the band – or that could just be me!! That is where the mind work comes in because if chocolate goes easily through the band, it becomes a question of mind power to not completely over indulge – especially at this time of the year.

Anyway, Easter is a great time of year – I love it because I get away from the city and go to Stawell in Victoria, home of the Stawell Gift – the richest footrace in Australia. I am looking forward to going to the Grampians for some bush walking and also watching the athletics – not everyone’s cup of tea I grant you but I like it! Most of all I am looking forward to a bit of a rest. Jen and I have been burning the candle at both ends getting our new products ready (stay tuned!!) and the thought of 4 days of rest and relaxation is really attractive!

So, that brings me back to the chocolate and the temptations of Easter. I love chocolate and have definitely been known to overindulge in the past. Even more than chocolate, I used to love, love, love hot cross buns but since the band has allowed me to not indulge in hot cross buns (I’m not particularly tolerant of bread) – I don’t have to worry about those anymore. Chocolate on the other hand is another matter. I don’t like to deprive myself anything anymore so I will eat chocolate over Easter though these days I am a little more discerning (in the past I have been known to eat anything resembling chocolate just for the sake of it or usually because I was starting a diet after Easter) and like to choose the best quality chocolate that I can find and allow myself a small portion each day.

So that is how I cope with the chocolate onslaught at Easter. How will you prepare your mind? What do you need to think about, what will you give yourself permission for?

Hope you and your families all have a wonderful Easter!

Giving yourself Permission!

I don’t know about you but I am one of those people that is pretty hard on myself. I set goals, I have high expectations and when I don’t reach those goals and expectations, I tend to beat up on myself a bit. This is one of those habits that I have been working to change.

Sometimes I find that I set out my day so rigidly that there is quite a big part of me that wants to dive back under the doona and spend the rest of the day avoiding all of the goals that I had set up. These are the times I usually know that I have to take a step back, look at my expectations and see whether I have set them so high that I don’t have any hope of achieving them.

It is only after years of wondering why I don’t achieve my goals that I have learned that this is a self sabotage strategy. It is really along the lines of the old ‘I have banned so many foods from my life, it is all so hard, I am going to get McDonald’s’ type eating pattern that I ran for years – is it just me or has anyone else run this crazy strategy – *sigh* it may just be me!

Anyway, after years of running the strategy of setting goals so high that I am overwhelmed with the amount that I need to achieve and then run for the safety of the doona that I have discovered that ‘giving myself permission’ can really help out. So, what does this ‘giving myself permission’ entail? Well, firstly – if I am feeling a ‘running to the doona’ moment coming on, I start to ask myself some questions – ‘what if you only achieved, X and X today instead of X, X and X?’ ‘Is it okay to only get X & X done?’ This usually brings back the focus and identifies that I have probably set my expectations too high and then things move on pretty quickly from there.

Sometimes a spell under the doona can really help so instead of avoiding it, I will give myself permission to luxuriate in the fabulousness that is my doona. In allowing myself to enjoy it, I am usually ready to move on pretty quickly. It also helps me out no end as I am much more kind to myself these days.

So, do you have any ‘overwhelmed’ strategies that you run? Will giving yourself permission to ‘run to the doona’ help you out or is there something else that in order to be kinder to yourself that you need to give yourself permission to do?

Have a good week, my friends!!

Cheers,

Jodie
www.lapbandforthemind.com

P.S. We would love to hear any feedback that you have on our Fear, the Band and your life MP3 currently available on www.lapbandforthemind.com!!

P.S. We have a new ‘Success on Optifast’ Workout your Mind MP3 coming out soon, watch out for it for anyone who will be starting the LapBand journey soon – it will be a great tool for them!!

So tired of being tired!

It’s been awhile since my last post and a lot has happened!! My last post made me laugh considering it was about jumping on and off the scale as since then my scale has died, poor thing - no doubt from over use!! So I am feeling a bit like left arm has been cut off at the moment.

The past week for me has been an interesting one regarding my own little head games and self sabotage. I had a pretty full on weekend last weekend, helping to hang plasterboard at my sister in law’s house in the country and my sisters and nephews were is a car accident on Sunday. Happily everyone is fine, though I can tell you, it was a very tiring weekend.

So what has this got to do with the Lap Band? Well I noticed one of my self sabotage patterns rearing its head this week. Since I started the week off tired and I didn’t have time to cook up a lovely home made vegie soup for lunches during the week, or get my bag together to walk in the morning – I used tiredness as an excuse to break the new habits I had created. Even though I was tired during the week, I didn’t go to bed early so I could remedy the situation.

It has been interesting looking at this pattern this week. It is definitely not a new one, I have been doing it for a long time. So, how to break it? Well the obvious way for me is to take some time to get organised and get a good night’s sleep for starters – though it does go back before that. I firstly needed some way to recognise the pattern sooner so that I can pull myself out of it sooner – which in this past weekend’s case was to get organised on Sunday night and then have a very early night (usually I stay up later because it extends the time before I have to go back to work - crazy right!!).

Anyway, my plan this weekend is:

1. Get house organised
2. Buy beautiful ingredients for yummy healthy food
3. Do some cooking
4. Get plenty of sleep
5. Go to bed early on Sunday night

Sometimes breaking the smallest pattern can have huge results in your life. What self sabotage patterns are your running and what can you do to catch it early and stop it!

Cheers,

Jodie
www.lapbandforthemind.com

P.S. On another note, Jen and I have been working extremely hard to get our first Workout Your Mind MP3 download created – Fear, the band and your life. We will have this on the website in the next couple of days!!

Ruled by the scale?

Okay, I have a confession to make – I am a weigh-a-holic. You know the type of person, weighs themselves at least once a day and sometimes more! I have improved over time but not quite to my satisfaction as yet. When I first got the band I was weighing myself once a week and that was it, sometimes it was actually only once a fortnight – it was a huge step for me and I was really proud of myself. However, I have lately slipped back into my old ways of weighing every day – sometimes twice!!

So, what has driven this latest fascination with the scale? Well it is all to do with the Lemon Detox diet that I am doing at the moment. I have always believed in detoxing and have tried various forms over the years to create a more healthier me. The detox consists of drinking 2 litres of this syrup that is mixed with fresh lemon juice and cayenne pepper. It has been a tough few days, I can tell you. Yesterday, I went through what is called a ‘cleansing crisis’ – in other words, I got a ridiculously painful headache that lasted through the night. Today hasn’t been quite so bad but I am still waiting for the time when ‘my energy increases and I feel unbelievably great’, hopefully not too far away. I am looking forward to the benefits after the detox as well, mainly the reset of my palate as I find that doing a detox takes away many cravings – it is great to refocus on healthier eating habits.

What exactly does this have to do with the scale, I hear you ask? Well, as one of the side effects of the detox is weight loss, I have been jumping on the scales like no tomorrow. I don’t mind so much the act of jumping on the scale, what I mind is that sometimes the results rule how I feel about my day – it takes discipline for me to refocus my mind on the positive after I haven’t seen exactly what I want on the scale. I have lost weight, that is the great news and I am hoping to lose a bit more.

So, is this a harmless habit or a destructive behaviour? Well, it is different for everyone and whilst it is not my ideal to be weighing myself every day – as I would love to reach the point where weight no longer occupies quite so much of my mental space, I am giving myself a break during this time of the detox and will then focus my mind back on creating a more helpful habit of once a week and a stretch, maybe in the future – once a month? What I will do this week is consciously choose to feel positive about my day regardless of what it says on the scale!

Till next time!

Cheers,

Jodie
www.lapbandforthemind.com