Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Why would I delay a fill?!!?

I thought that this week I would talk about a situation that happened to me recently. I went through a period of not losing as much weight as I would like and an interesting self sabotage that came up was that I avoided going back to the surgery to get a fill!!

I finally went back last Friday and since then, I have lost 3kg’s – now this is a little unusual and mostly because I was retaining a good deal of fluid and keep in mind that it was not the only reason for the weight loss – the other reason being that I am having a weight loss ‘push’ at the moment, so have been focussing on a pretty rigorous exercise routine. It did lead me to examine why I would have waited (probably 2 weeks more than I should) rather than get my bottom down to the clinic asap to get the fill corrected.

So, I have had a good long think about it this week, especially considering that Jen and I had always reiterated to each other, right from the beginning, that it was really important to get a fill even if there is a little bit of shame because of the small amount of weight loss or even if we have put on – we really believe in the ‘partnership’ with the clinic and that keeping in touch with them more than necessary is way better than not being in touch enough. So I was confused about the delay!

Searching inside of myself, I found the following reasons:

· I was enjoying eating more
· I was using the food as a comfort item rather than as fuel
· I was able to eat some of the foods I hadn’t been able to for awhile

This led to quite a discussion with myself as I don’t really want to hold myself hostage in this way in the future and I thought I had addressed these issues completely and was a little surprised to see them come up again.

After a lot of soul searching, I put together a plan of attack which is really to be more consistently aware of my patterns – go back to basics and become aware again. The first step to change a behaviour is to bring it to constant awareness, the second step is to start to choose a different behaviour, the third step is to practice, practice, practice the new behaviour and I tell you, this is what I’m going to do!!!

Have a sensational week everyone!

Cheers,

Jodie

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